Tips to Influence a Stubborn Child

Posted On: December 18, 2017 By Jim Newton

When you imagined having children, like most people you may have thought that it would be a breeze, and they’d grow up to be the perfect reflection of all of your best qualities. Unfortunately this case just isn’t real life. We are all born with innate personality traits, temperaments, and ways of handling stress—all of which children increasingly develop and manage through the process of learning and socialization. As our children get older, we begin to hear the dreaded “no;” essentially, this is them practicing their capacity for autonomy—which is surprisingly healthy and totally normal. However, it can really stress out parents to feel like they are losing control over their child or household. Meals, bedtime, and family outings can become more stressful than ever before, and you might feel like you’re going a little mad at times. In other words, the natural tendency for stubbornness to rear its ugly head can test our patience as parents. Here is some important information to keep in mind when you think your kid is the “stubborn” one.

So, why are our kids “stubborn” to begin with?

There isn’t one right answer to this question. When children seem to be turning more stubborn as the days pass, it could be just part of their natural cycle of developing their personality. As previously mentioned, our personalities develop based upon our innate temperament combined with the environment around us. When stressful things are going on in our lives, these developments are challenged. We tend to feel powerless, as if we are losing all control when life throws us curve balls, and children feel just the same as we do during stressful life transitions or especially difficult times, except for kids, this may be perceived as stubbornness. Really, what may seem like hard-headed stubbornness could simply be your child attempting to exercise more power over their daily lives and choices. There are ways that you can address your child’s stubbornness that don’t diminish their personality, but actually help your child learn, grow, and become more able to regulate their emotions in daily life.

Things you might try to help the situation:

Children have very little control over what happens to them on a daily basis. They don’t always get to have a say in what’s for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, whether their parents have more kids or not, what school they go to and what teacher they have, what they wear, or who they spend the majority of their time with—just to name a few instances.

Giving your child more choices in their daily life might help them feel more comfortable with the things that are out of their control. For instance, choosing two outfits for them to pick from in the morning will give them a sense of autonomy, without sacrificing the practicality in the clothes you chose for them. Or you may try letting them choose between two dinner options. Even for adults, these little decisions help us feel more in control.

Another way you can help your child relax their stubbornness is to create family boundaries and house rules that are non-negotiable—and stick with them! Children thrive off of structure and predictability. When these two conditions are challenged, it can leave your child feeling powerless and unstable. Giving your child chores, rewarding them for good behavior, and having strict bedtime routines are all examples of how to increase your child’s positive behaviors, and surprisingly, their ability to be flexible in other seemingly stressful scenarios.

Our Philosophy on Stubborn Kids

Here at Great Beginnings Child Care and Learning Center, located in Sugar Hill, GA, we look at every child holistically—in other words, children are all unique and individual from one another, but they are not separate from their environmental influences. We delicately work with parents to help their children learn and grow in meaningful ways, and we honor that every child and family has their own unique challenges. Our childcare experts tailor their approach to teaching based on individual needs and developmental milestones. We know that adults greatly impact a child’s behavior and development, so it’s important we recognize their individuality throughout every interaction with them. For more information about the programs we offer to our community, contact us directly or explore our website in more depth. We look forward to meeting you and your fantastic children someday soon.

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