Tips to Influence Your Child on a Particular Subject

Posted On: September 26, 2017 By Jim Newton

Raising kids does not come with an instruction manual, and the challenges of parenthood don’t lessen as children grow older, but they simply take different forms as years pass. Sometimes it can be difficult to come home from a hard day at work only to deal with a screaming, unruly toddler; but those are the moments that ultimately help us grow relationally. Seizing those especially challenging moments as an opportunity for growth can bring you and your child closer together. Influencing your child on a particular subject can seem tricky, such as getting him to like going to swim lessons, or eating broccoli—but there are a few things you can try that will help make things go more smoothly.

The Importance of Developmental Stage

Your child’s feelings about a particular subject, like eating more vegetables, may feel like an outward revolt against your parenting methods and it’s understandable to feel upset or frustrated. Keep in mind that the age of your child directly affects his or her behavior—younger children have an especially difficult time regulating their emotions, making dinnertime occasionally feel like World War III. Preschool-age children generally have very little control over their daily lives, including the simple things like bodily functions. Imagine if you were consistently at a loss of control over what happened to you everyday? The likelihood that they’re more frustrated than you in those moments is high—and whether or not they choose to eat their broccoli might be their only sense of control throughout their day. Before attempting to reason with a toddler, remember that developmentally they are not fluent in emotion regulation, nor do they have the vocabulary to explain why they feel the way they do. This is something you can help them learn over time.

The “Easy” Solutions

Beware of the easy ways out of these conundrums. When your child disagrees with you, they may actually have a practical reason for doing so; the easy solutions aren’t always the best ways to seize teachable moments or hear your child out. While it may be tempting to bribe your kid with candy or TV time, these easy solutions only provide you with relief momentarily—over time, those squandered opportunities for growth can lead to bigger issues if not addressed consistently. It may be an ugly scene in the beginning, but as time goes by your child will adapt and be more mindful of your parental guidelines. More importantly, they will learn how to cope with feelings of frustration, anger, and disappointment—as adults, we know these feelings will always be a part of life—it’s about learning how to go through them, not around them.

Take Time to Listen

Those tough days at work, or hours in traffic can really do a number on our willingness to listen, and that’s okay—no one is immune to the stresses of life. Being an effective parent sometimes means learning how to assess your state of mind and ability to listen with open ears before expecting your child to do the same for you. To influence your child on a particular subject, for instance eating more vegetables, take the time to hear him out on why he doesn’t want to eat them in the first place. Demands and bribes don’t generally go over too well with adults either, especially if not in a receptive state of mind, so giving your child a few options about what kinds of vegetables they would like to eat for dinner might help them feel a sense of control and individual choice. Remember, before attempting to reason with a toddler, they have to be in the right state of mind—just like adults, you can’t expect him to be able to listen with open ears when he is in emotional upheaval. Take the time to comfort and respect your child’s emotions in the moment (no matter how ridiculous they may seem) and once things calm down, have a conversation.

Great Beginnings Approach

Here at Great Beginnings Child Care & Learning Center in Sugar Hill, GA, we dedicate every moment with your children helping them learn and grow. We offer infant and pre-school services, pre-k, after school programs, and summer camps—all of which are developmentally structured and learning-focused. Influencing your child doesn’t come with instructions, but we can help you learn effective ways of dealing with those tougher moments. We care deeply about the children in our community, and look forward to helping you find solutions that work best for your own family.

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